PC Engine: Local Girls of Hawaii

So last time I wrote about a PC Engine game, it was one that was basically porn for people too afraid to look at actual pornography. This, though, is actual pornography. You don’t even have to play a shitty action-platformer to get to it, either! Just turn on the PC Engine and BAM, naked Islander in your face. Funny thing, this was an actual official release for the console. Normally something like this is reserved for the seedier side of console games, like unofficial bootlegs or the incalculable amount of “Hentai Babe Slideshow (PD)” ROMs that haunt many a complete ROMset. But nope, this (along with other “Girls of” titles) was put out by a real company on a real disc and had actual magazine ads and everything. Kind of odd to see that sort of thing get promoted in the world of video games in the 90s.

I suppose I should try to review this. It’s not really like, an actual game or anything; just a sneaky way for young Yoshihiro to rub one out while his parents think he’s playing, like, Jaseiken Necromancer or something, so there’s not much to say. But I’ll try anyway, since I’ve sunken so low I’m now posting tits for pageviews.

For a console known for having an excellent color palette, this looks like shit. Even for 199X, CD technology was good enough to get you a full-color photo. You don’t get that here. It’s just grainy, badly processed JPGs thrown onto a disc and there you go. You also get some pre-Photoshop filters and effects thrown in for no other reason then, I guess, distract you from the fact that its keeping in Japanese obscenity laws and putting censor bars over all the vaginas.

I’m going to stop here, since that paragraph made it seem like I spent more than two minutes with this. So just hit the sanitized, Safe For Work jumpcut if you’re really desperate for shitty PC Engine pornography.

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