James' Dream Diary Entry #40F81

I’m making food in my kitchen. Some sort of pasta, I believe. So I’m making this food when I hear the TV in the background. It sounds like an episode of the Maury Povich show. It was one of those episodes involving twelve year old girls smoking crack and getting it at both ends by two dudes at once. You know, one of the shows where it’s easy to see why the rest of the world hates us.

Anyways. This girl does her little vignette.
I only hear her, since I’m making food, but after going on and on about how ain’t not nobody going to stop her, she finally admits:

“Mom, I had sex one time, and ONLY one time! And it was in self-defense!”

Then I wake up and I’m like what the fuck?

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