Only 90s Kids Will Understand This

The year is 199X. The place is Albany, New York. A group of horny teenage boys are piling into a barely-drivable Toyota Celica. Tonight is host to the party of the century, and these boys want to get hella laid.

The opening guitar riffs of Lit’s “My Own Worst Enemy” blared over the car speakers as the boys bobbed their heads in time with the beat. Each of them were dressed in that wacky 90s fashion: jeans and t-shirts. Actually no wait, a couple of them had baseball caps on, too. One of the hats had the logo for the Charlotte Hornets on it, though. That’s pretty out there, man. But one could only listen to Lit for so long before boredom would set in, so one of the boys began a conversation.

“Does anybody here remember Doug? Do you guys remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Dude, check out my Pog collection! Have you guys ever played Crash Bandicoot on the Sony Playstation Video Game Entertainment System? Dude how the fuck have you never seen Space Jam!? That Windows 95 screensaver with the flying toasters is pretty sweet, my man. Why aren’t we watching Hey! Arnold right now? You ever notice how Tommy Pickles looks stoned in so many episodes of Rugrats? How about some Hanson? I have a Backstreet Boys album…on cassette! Hey have you ever watched Twin Peaks? Do you remember Are You Afraid of the Dark? What about Goosebumps? What was Hey, Dude even about, anyway? Guys, guys: Salute…Your…Shorts. Does anybody in this room remember Final Fantasy VIII? ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin, anyone? Remember the Spice Girls?”

Does anybody remember the 90s?

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