More from the archives part two

fun fact: in an interview with incite gaming magazine, the rock told a story of how he once won the wwf european championship by beating mark henry (the champion at the time) at a round of knockout kings for the playstation


did i ever tell you folks about a dream i had where i stayed at a hotel run by the icp? except now their names were sleepy 2 dope and great rates j and my room was covered in vampiro memorabilia.


law and order: svu is such a bizarre schizophrenic show. like every other episode seems to have a theme of “false rape accusations are hella prevalent and women are all lying whores am i right woo hoo kegger” and then you get the odd progressive episode like “detective stabler overcomes his transphobia” or “tutuola is still proud of his son even after coming out” and it makes no sense.


let me tell you this story: years back, i used to post on a message board for pc engine fans. i quit posting after a time because it went from “folks talking about games” to “holy shit most of these guys are in their 30s and still arguing over the 16-bit console wars” and “complaining about women and homosexuals ruining video games because final fantasy characters look gay or whatever.”

one guy in particular was a massive homophobe who hated the nintendo wii and thought that prolonged exposure to it would turn you into a flaming stereotype, but ended up buying one when i think no more heroes came out. but when he finished the game, he sold both the game and the wii, claiming that he got it out of his system. then another wii game he wanted came out, so he bought another wii and the game, finished it, sold both off, then repeated it like five or six times for different titles. what i’m getting at here is someone blew thousands of dollars because he was afraid a video game console would make him blow something else.


man have you heard about these world war 2 vets that have to look at memorials through barricades that’s fucked up (meanwhile a homeless vietnam vet freezes to death and a horrifically scarred iraq vet turns his gun on himself)


Q. why are there so many skeleton lawyers?
A. they’re really big on the concept of “habeas corpse-us”


“…also, Dude, ‘wrestler’ is not the preferred nomenclature. ‘WWE Superstar,’ please.”


i went to a kotaku event that took place at a nightclub. i was seriously the only person there who actually ordered any alcohol (the bartenders later confided this to me), and the only one who knew that public restrooms have more than one stall in them; there was a line for an empty men’s room.


fandango dislikes smoke


i tend to make fun of deviantart weirdos who make sonic and my little pony oc’s but when you look at all the wrestling characters and rpg protagonists i’ve put together i’m really not that much better


my favorite “top 10 epic video game boss battles” lists are the ones that remind me of that one chris farley character

“hey remember in metal gear solid when you had to plug your controller into the second port to beat psycho mantis? yeah that was cool.”


had a dream i was the producer of a new reality game show where contestants would stand in place and hold up various pieces of food. one person would be told that they would be given a chicken nugget to hold up, but we never gave it to them, so they would ask, “what do you mean you forgot the chicken nuggets?” which was the cue for a group of army guys to rush in and shoot them.


here’s a bit of vid con trivia i bet a lot of folks don’t know about: alien trilogy for the sony playstation was pretty well received by trent reznor (of nine inch nails) and his producer, as the two played it constantly in their studio. this led to numerous delays in the recording of the downward spiral, as well as marilyn manson’s “antichrist superstar” (both bands had the same producer). this led to manson eventually firing the producer, which became a source of tension between reznor and manson.


a high school teacher just asked the internet if scarface is popular with teenagers.
let me tell you about this thing called the past decade of hip hop culture…


[sad piano music plays as a worn vhs copy of the little rascals slowly pans into frame]


this ibeg app sounds amazing what better way to sympathize with the plight of the less-privileged than through a window of technological abstraction put together via slave labor

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