It’s lunch time. My co-worker and I have decided to go out for some fast food today, as a change of pace. We left at 1:15 p.m, and we have to be back before 1:45. Not a lot of time to really sit down and take it easy, but, I suppose, it’s the life of the wage slave. And considering that we’ve driven around this parking lot at least five times looking for a spot, our time is even more precious.

My partner is a nice young lady from the rich part of town. She’s young, and has that air of perfect confidence that comes from having money and having men drool over you like tired dogs. She’s not stuck-up or anything like that, thankfully, and we can keep one another sane in an otherwise insane place of business. Of course, by “keep each other sane,” I mean, “constantly bicker at one another like an old couple.” Which is what we’re doing right now.

Like I said, she’s a very confident person, which is hilarious when I watch her become a bundle of frayed nerves behind the wheel of an automobile. I point to an empty parking space directly in front us. She freaks out.

“Park there. No, there! Look, right where I’m pointing!”
She turns the corner instead, passing awful close to another vehicle. “No! Ah, fuck. Fuck! You douchebag…”
“Where are you going? It was right there! And hey, don’t call me a douchebag.”
“Shut up and help me find a spot!”
I can barely compose myself here. I’m barely able to get out any words in my state of dumbfoundedness. That’s a word, right? “I…I just…holy fuck. I just told you where to go! And then you called me a douchebag!”
“Okay, fine. Well, whatever.”
“I accept your apology.”

It’s now 1:26. We finally find a spot in an unkempt gravel pit. My head is in my fucking hands at this point. Jesus Christ, I cannot stop from giggling at her like a loon.

She elbows me pretty hard in the ribs in response. As we exit the car, I loudly complain about how long we have to walk now. She tells me to fuck off. Just another day at the office.

6 thoughts on “Parking”

  1. That’s probably the most lighthearted thing I’ve seen you write in some time! It made me really miss my friend even more than I usually do… The type of friend who I can say the most horrible, inappropriate things to, and vice versa, while we both implicitly know it’s just humorous banter and a form of affection, you know?

  2. Yeah, I’ve realize I’ve been way too negative lately. Probably because I’ve been surrounded by so much negativity (following the Ferguson protests everyday, then having relatives call and ask if I “heard about that little nigger boy getting shot” really put me in a foul mood and I wasn’t having it). So I just listened to some music and read some stuff by Itoi and just decided to write something positive. Positive in a sense, I mean.

  3. Ugh…family. It both destroys you and keeps you alive (or not, depending).

    Maybe some people wouldn’t see what you wrote as truly positive, but filtered through my malformed outlook, it seems so. 😛


  4. Shigesato Itoi. Us baka gaijin known him as the dude that made Earthbound. But he’s also a hell of an author, and like, one of my biggest inspirations. I think once I’m completely calmed the heck down, I’ll get back into the story part of my King’s Field project and try to make NPC dialogue at least an 1/8 as good as his.

  5. Yeah, he did a collaboration of short stories with Haruki Murakami called “Yume de Aimashou.” There used to be some English translations online, but they seem to have since vanished.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *