Pride

I know I haven’t posted here in a bit. There’s some projects that I’m currently working on, and hopefully you’ll like them. But there’s some personal things that have been bothering me that I haven’t really gotten out in any real capacity; mostly a couple of Twitter threads.

A couple weeks back, when the world was wrapped up in the fervor of Caitlyn Jenner’s transition, I made the mistake of logging on to Facebook. Now, I’ve seen some stupid shit on the internet many times, so nothing really shocks me. But I was not ready to see friends that I have had for the last ten, in some cases twenty, years suddenly swarm my profile and timeline with all sorts of gross shit. Having my childhood friends calling me a tranny faggot ruining America, or accusing me of stealing glory from ARE TROOPS RISKING THERE LIFES simply for being a trans woman at the same time as a celebrity, asking me when I’m going to chop my dick off, and my favorite, image memes of the “That’s a man, baby!” scene from Austin Powers. What a timely fucking reference! If I didn’t have a support network on the internet, who the hell knows what I would have done to myself?

Fast forward to yesterday’s monumental news of same-sex marriage becoming legalized nationwide. Any small joy I may have had was finding itself crushed by cynical corporations shamelessly adopting the rainbow logo, despite them gleefully not giving a fuck about LGBT rights until it became a safe bet, in addition to all the cis gender white dudes co-opting the Stonewall Riots and going right on back to telling us to STFU, everything is great. You know, despite the 40% homeless rate for LGBT youth, the fact that you can still be fired for being gay in 27 states, or the fact that Barack Obama fucking tut-tutted a trans woman of color for “speaking out of turn” only a day before.

Then, on a whim, I logged back in to Facebook for the last time before I logged off.

Literally every single asshole that cut me out of their lives for being a deviant “he-she” that will give them The Gay was now sporting that fucking rainbow flag. “Congrats on finally getting your rights!” “So proud of America for finally doing the right thing!” I guess it’s easy to support some abstract concept of “equality” as you act like a disgusting bigot to the people around you.

I’m mad. I’m bitter. I feel like fucking garbage. I wanted to be happy about some good news for once, only to find myself walked on and forgotten about all over again. Then when I make a little noise, I’m told to keep it down like a good girl, or boy, or shit, whatever you trannies call yourselves. It’s bullshit. I’m tired of constantly propping up self-appointed, fake ass “activists” that I know full well would not do the same if the shoe were on the other foot. I want to have some friends that aren’t on the other other end of a fucking computer screen!

I guess the honeymoon is over. I’m finally getting to see what it’s really like to be a trans woman in society. The view fucking sucks.

4 thoughts on “Pride”

  1. Sorry to hear you’re facing such isolation right now; I hope you’ll be able to find a physical space where people help you feel comfortable. You’ll always have a fan and supporter in me! Glad to see you’re still writing. 🙂

  2. F’real. hey do you remember when we collabed and made that super awesome GameLife Melissa fanpage ’cause I WISH I COULD SEE IT AGAIN

  3. Ah jeez, I remember that. I’m not even sure if I have an archive of that anymore. Too many HD failures over the years…

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