a series of short dream journal entries

number one

cm punk was linking to transgendered porn on his twitter account. except it wasn’t really transgendered so much as really obvious wrinkly middle-aged men with bad wigs, awful make up jobs and ill-fitting lingerie. i asked him why he showing off his turn-ons to the whole world; his response was quoting “cult of personality.”

number two

i’m hanging out with my best friend and his girlfriend. as the three of us are chatting away about nothing in particular, my friend’s mother comes into the room. ignoring her son and his girlfriend, she looks me dead in the eye and does her best to rebuild my confidence in my writing skills. she tells me, “just because you got on [a local musician]’s bad side and had to deal with his legion of screaming fangirls doesn’t mean you should’ve given up on your aspirations.”

i felt a little bit better, then i realized how heavy-handed and dumb all this was and started to become embarrassed.

number three

i’m having a discussion with a friend about my mother’s issues with scoliosis. she responds to my statements by throwing me to the ground and pissing in my face.

number four

i had just done a 100% run of the new harry potter vid con and discovered a bizarre “futanari” mode if you did a new game plus as hermione.

later, i had run into emma watson at a local bar. my attempts to explain to her what a futunari was caused me to get thrown out.

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