I’ve mentioned before about wanting to go all-in on the trans stereotype and make a zine. To keep myself from reneging on that, I joined a queer zine jam. This means that I have about a month to make a twelve page zine about my queer identity. So look forward to that, eventually.
And it’s good that this came up. I’ve been getting into old Japanese computers as of late. Stuff like the MSX, the PC-FX (though this one’s actually a console), and the X68000. And a couple of these systems have “Digital Magazines.” These are basically demo disks that publishers would put out to hype their own stuff. But they would also include all sorts of extras, like artwork, comics, what I’m assuming are small text adventures (my Japanese is pretty fucking horrible), and small write-ups.
“Reading” (put in quotes because, again, my Japanese sucks) these give me that pre-social media vibe. Don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because of how amateur all the art looks, despite most of these being done by professional companies. Or how they look like fansites I would spend many weekends scouring during my teen years, with their minimalist white text on black backgrounds layout. Or how they all seem to feature at least one thing involving either extreme violence or anime porn. As social media drags on towards a slow, painful death, taking my mental health along with it, I find myself longing for these days.
And I’m digging through all of these and thinking, hey, I could conceivably do something like this, only without the game-centric focus. Like, putting together my various works of net-art, some short stories (fiction or otherwise), and even something done in Twine into one digital file. I mean, I know I’m not the only queer trans who molded their identity during their formative years online. Using this fansite/magazine format to express myself and my gay ass in a way that you’ll either relate to, be uncomfortable towards, or make fun of. Hopefully all three, otherwise I’m not doing my job as a Trans.
Anyways. I’m hoping that everything works out the way I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye. And that it doesn’t fucking kill me like every other major project I do.