There’s something that’s been bugging me for the last few weeks. I’ve mostly been hiding it, choosing to take subtle potshots on here, or in private group chats or something. But it has gotten to me a bit more in the past few days. Figured that, since this is my web site where I can say whatever I want, I’ll do so here, even if that violates my 2020 stance of trying to keep the vibes good and not cutting a fucking promo all the time.
Let me start this by letting everyone know: being transgender is the least interesting part about me. My gender is the most mundane, boring, uninteresting shit possible. Me being good at Tekken is more important than that. Me being an artist is more important. Me being informative, or funny, or the rare times where I sound smart is more important. It’s only a big deal because you got these fucking weirdos out there who want it to be one. These dumb motherfuckers who cannot wrap their head around the concept of a person not wanting to adhere to a strict, made up binary, and use that fear and anger to cause harm to others. Your fucking Singals, your Savages (no relation to me), your Greenwalds, your Wendigs, your Wheatons, your Jeminsins, your Harpers, your Jacksons, whatever. Assholes whose idea of a good time is to permanently ruin the good time of somebody else.
I mention those names, and not anyone who is full-on Alt-Right, because these are the people who bug me the most, as they will stab us in the back, while the Right will simply shoot us in the face. They are Cowards, with a capital C. Cowards who will say and do a bunch of transphobic shit, play the victim when called out on it, and then will act sad when trans people get run out of public life, or die way too young, or when some bull shit legislature that targets children gets passed, as if this will convince us all that they are our allies. Cowards who will call us every horrible thing imaginable and accuse us of the most heinous crimes a person can commit, then hide behind their own marginalized identity. I can’t be transphobic, I’m Gay! I’m Jewish! I’m Black! I’m Disabled! I’m this, that, and the other thing! My response to this is: yeah, so? Being a member of another discriminated group doesn’t suddenly preclude you from being a jerk. I don’t give a pass to Blaire White whenever she says something stupid and racist. I’m not letting Buck Angel slide every time he sucks up to ugly people who would rather blow his face off with the largest gun they can find. Their trans status does not suddenly make their bull shit okay. And your status doesn’t make it okay, either.
If they don’t hide behind the shield of their identities, then they post the trans pride flag, or say “Trans Rights Are Human Rights,” shortly after calling Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin a couple of flaming faggots (because that’s allyship). Trans Rights Are Human Rights. What a bunch of shit that is. Another version of “It Gets Better,” the most toothless, meaningless thing you can say, normally said by the most mealy-mouthed Z-Level celebrities only in it for the likes. The only time I’ve ever believed someone who said that shit out loud was when Nick Fucking Gage said it, and that’s because he is a man notorious for not giving a fuck, and saying whatever he wants.
I heard today is trans people day so i just wanted to remind everyone pic.twitter.com/zcGroQTvpC
— Nick FN Gage (@thekingnickgage) March 31, 2021
These worthless motherfuckers post this “no really, I like ‘you people'” bull shit, while they call us pedophiles, rapists, neo-nazis, liars lying about the sexual assaults we’ve been through, accuse us of cheating at sports, attempting invasive surgery on five year olds, whatever. If you have ever talked about sex at any point in your life, you molest children (sorry, I meant: “if you use the term ‘sexually averse person,’ I’m going to assume you’re a predator”). If you write a work of fiction that can move people to tears upon reading it, you’re a cis white man using a pen name. If you calmly explain to these chickenshit losers that these accusations are false, that’s Mansplaining. If you tell them to go fuck themselves, that’s Male Violence. It’s fine if their glorified blog posts are sourced in bigoted legislature, but it is not fine to be mad at them for it. It’s fine if their harassment has caused you to be up until five in the morning in a Discord call, convincing their “justified” target that suicide isn’t the answer, all while said targets are still fielding death threats from Breitbart readers, in addition to their shit, but it’s not fine to tell you to go to hell for putting someone through that. You’re “just asking questions” and I’m just asking you to fucking die. Now, wishing death upon those who would do the same, even if they don’t have the balls to outright say it, may sound extreme. If that does sound extreme, you can go fuck yourself too. I don’t need a bunch of wavering neolibs looking at me or my work. I hope these fucking losers stop living sooner rather than later.
I simply wish to go through life on my own terms. I want to play video games. I want to watch wrestling. I want to watch racing. I want to watch an*me. I want to make things that look cool. I want to do cool shit until my time is up. But no, no, I have to be forced into a position where I have to be an “activist.” I have to argue for my own right to exist, something nobody should have to fucking do. I don’t even like talking about gender anymore, but I fucking have to!
These sacks of human garbage have undeservedly put so many of us through hell, and they get rewarded for it. They get gainful employment by stoking the flames of hate, all while trying to play both sides like the world’s worst spy. They get those Star-Bellied Sneetches check marks. Hundreds of thousands of idiots look at them like a bunch of rocket scientists, when each and every one of them are dumber than me after taking half a Benadryl, or taking a couple long inhales of some Double Scorpio. The fact that these motherfuckers are alive and successful, while so many of us need to beg the internet for enough money to have dinner tonight, is all the proof I need to know that there is no such thing as God.
The fact is, these heartless monsters, these transphobic losers, with their sad little lives and no real friends other than the alt-right bigots they’re too afraid to acknowledge, are pathetic. They have no fucking talent. They can’t write. They can’t act. They’re dumber than a fucking rock. They’re ugly as fuck. They can’t create anything with any beauty to it. They are utterly worthless, and society is frankly much better off without them. If at least one of them dropped dead tomorrow (and I fucking hope so), good fucking riddance. I do not dislike you. I do not despise you. I hate you. I hate all of you for what you have put me through. I hate all of you for what you have put my friends through. I hate all of you for what you have put people I’ve never even met or heard of through. I hate all of you for what you are putting literal children through, all while trying to paint us as the child predators. I’m 34 years old, and I have gray hair that is only getting grayer by the day, and I will blame you gutless transphobic cowards for that.
I spent years doubting myself. Spent years wondering who I was; if I had any actual talent, or if people were blowing smoke up my ass because they were too nice to tell me I sucked. Whether or not you think I’m actually great is up to your opinion, but I can at least hang my hat on the fact that I’m better than all these clowns. Me at my worst is better than anyone I took shots at at the beginning of this post at their best. Me writing a post talking about how good Tower of Druaga is is far more valuable to the human race than any easily debunked, non-researched gender science. Me talking about a bad porn game on the Sega Saturn serves a bigger use than a shitty sex column. Poetry that I spent a week on has more views and more sales than their bad fucking Star Wars fanfic, I guess people are more interested in what I have to say than your concept of Luke Skywalker flippity-booping and skapappa-blabbing across the galaxy. Me playing fighting games on Twitch, even when I lose, is more entertaining than you trying to convince everyone that Overwatch is still worth playing in 2021. And so on.
You, The Girl Reading This, I don’t know who you are, but I will say this: if you are a trans girl doubting yourself, I can guarantee that you are better creator and a better person. I won’t say “it gets better” or any other useless platitudes, because I don’t think you’re an idiot, but I will say that you continuing to exist now, even when shit is fucking bleak, is pretty cool, dude. Despite what society or your brain may tell you, you are not better off dead. Society would be, but not you.
One final thing before I wrap up this disorganized rant. The last couple of weeks, I’ve heard about two trans women dying. Dying prematurely. I didn’t know them, didn’t even know who they were until the news broke. And while I didn’t know them, people who I talk to or follow did, and the news destroyed them. I don’t have to know a person to think it sucks when someone’s life ends way too soon when it absolutely shouldn’t have. But the one thing that I was able to take solace in was the knowledge that in death, their lives were celebrated. I can take solace in knowing that when we are dead, people will miss us. People will remember us. These fuckhead TERFs will not be missed or remembered beyond the monsters they were. In death, people will celebrate their deaths. And I will say this: if you are a worthless TERF, I guarantee that, no matter what it takes, or what I have do, I will outlive you. If I have to run on pure spite for thirty years, so be it. But I will outlive you. Once I do, I will find out where you are buried, and I will piss on your graves. Fuck you.